The End of the Harry Potter Series

The end of the Harry Potter series, as written by:

JRR Tolkien:

Good guys win, bad guys lose. Yet, there are still 600 pages left in the book.

30 Pages of Ron going home,
40 more of Hermione going home. Crookshanks peed on the rug, 70 pages of cleaning that up.
30 more pages while Harry goes home.
Harry doesn't like home, goes to visit Ron. (50 more pages). They go to the mall (20).
Someone mentions Dumbledore and they talk about him.. 75 more pages.
Appendix A - Entire text of 'Hogwarts, A History'.
Appendix B - Muggles, and how they got that way.
Appendix C - A collection of songs, presented in their original Parselmouth language.
Appendix D - Detailed description of the flora and fauna of the forbidden forest.
Appendix E - Wand styles of the famous.
Appendix F - A treatise on Lucius Malfoy's hair

Dean Koontz (Bestselling Thriller Author) :

While Voldemort is preparing his final assault on Hogwarts, Arthur Weasley uses his knowledge of muggle artifacts come up with a plan to defeat Voldemort. He and Ron work desperately to connect the flue network to a fireplace in the house of a major Columbian drug lord. Harry and Hermione go through, stun everyone in the house, and steal all their Uzi submachineguns. When the Death Eaters arrive at Hogwarts, members of the Order of the Phoenix gun them down.

Joe Haldeman (The Forever War, Forever Free, Worlds Enough and Time) :

During the final confrontation, Neville Longbottom reveals unsuspected powers when he kills all the Death Eaters all over the world, including Lord Voldemort, by making them blow up into steaming bloody chunks. Neville explains that he is God The Creator Of The World in disguise, and then he blows up all the muggles in the world. God-Neville then proceeds to blow up all the all the wizards and witches in the world except Harry. Then he blows up Harry.

These are hilarious! They are from Mark Draughn and various commenters at windypundit.com and there are more! Thank you!